We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
