That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
