she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
