Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
