she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
