I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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