but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
