I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I will pee on everything he values.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
