Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
