I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
