His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
