yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
