I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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