I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
