Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
