that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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