Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
