drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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