oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
