Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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