i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This is the high leading the old right now
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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