Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
