I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
