Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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