So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we're making bets on your personal life
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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