Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
