hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
