Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
