you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
