i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
