No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
