I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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