I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
