make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
