i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
