we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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