Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
