Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
