Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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