I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
