Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
