I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
