thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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