he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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