My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
