I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
