dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
