Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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