I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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