He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
