my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
