Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
